when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change

What are you fighting within yourself? An emotion, a thought, a feeling, a belief? How much energy are you spending on doing that, and how is it making you feel? If you’ve been fighting with it for a while, and not seeing the changes you want to, it might be helpful to try something new.

Acknowledge it for what it is. Your pain, difficulty, frustration, anger, and life experiences are real, valid and true. When we fight against reality, we lose. When we acknowledge it for what it is, we free up our energy to be used in far more productive ways.

Once you acknowledge it, you can accept it. You don’t have to approve of it, like it, or force yourself to want it. Acceptance is just embracing the truth that this is how it is right now.

And the magic of acceptance is that it can facilitate change, change that really isn’t possible when we’re fighting against it. 

As Carl Rogers wrote, 

“ The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

According to Rogers's approach, everyone exists in a world full of experiences. These experiences shape our reactions to our environment, people, and our internal thoughts and emotions.

Central to his theory was the idea of self-concept - a general term of how someone perceives themselves but this does not necessarily have to reflect reality.

According to Rogers, the self-concept has three different components:

1. Self-image - how you see yourself

2. Self-esteem - the extent to which you value yourself

3. Ideal Self - what you'd like to be

If there's a mismatch

How you see yourself (self-image) and what you'd like to be (ideal self)then it will likely affect how much you value yourself.