Dear Brother,

Every Rakhi, you ask me what gift I want. I always smile and say “nothing,” because how do I tell you that what I truly want can’t be bought, wrapped, or delivered? This year, I want to share my heart with you. I want a gift that carries the weight of my hopes, my fears, and my dreams as your sister.

This Rakhi, I am asking for the most precious gift you could ever give me: 

the gift of a world less burdened by misogyny.

Before you brush this off as just another “women’s issue,” please, listen with your heart. I am not asking you to fight some distant battle. I am asking you to help change the reality I wake up to every day, and the numbers reveal why this is so urgent.

The Numbers You Cannot Ignore

Let’s talk facts for a minute. According to the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), more than 4.45 lakh cases of crimes against women were reported across India last year. That’s over 1,200 cases every single day. These aren’t just numbers they are stories of women harassed in buses, girls afraid to walk home at night, wives hurt behind closed doors, and daughters pressured for dowry. And remember, these are only the cases that actually make it to a police station; so many more go unspoken.

But as your sister, I know something the statistics can never fully capture: the silence. For every woman who finds the courage to speak up, there are countless others who swallow their pain.

 Fear of stigma, family pressure, economic dependence, threats, and the exhausting certainty of not being believed _________these keep our voices locked inside. 

The real scale of this pain is far greater than any number can show.

But it’s not just about crime or violence. Misogyny is everywhere, every day. 

👉 It's Your Father telling me 100000 times that " I AM LESS THAN YOU ". You are a SON / SUN.

👉It’s in the WhatsApp group where a sexist meme gets forwarded and nobody objects. 

👉It’s when an uncle says, “Girls shouldn’t laugh too loudly.”

👉 It’s a college professor saying, “Engineering is for boys.” 

👉It’s the aunty asking why I’m not married yet, or 

👉 the boss who expects me to serve tea. 

👉 It’s being told to come home before dark, 

👉 to dress ‘modestly,’ 

👉 to not argue, 

👉 to compromise, 

👉 to adjust. 

These things don’t make the news, but they shape every single day of my life. That’s how deep this runs in India.

My Rakhi Gift Request

So this Rakhi, I am not asking for a saree, a phone, or even your promise to “protect” me from other men. I am asking for something far more powerful:

I am asking you to become a MAN who actively dismantles misogyny, starting with yourself and your world.

Here is what that gift looks like in practice:

• Speak up when someone cracks a sexist joke____even if it’s your closest friend. If someone says something creepy about a girl, or forwards a ‘harmless’ meme, don’t stay silent. Just saying, “That’s not cool,” can make a huge difference. Your SILENCE or NEUTRALITY is how this keeps going.
• Respect my boundaries___not just physical, 
• but emotional and 
• mental. 

👉 Don’t interrupt me when I’m speaking, 

👉 don’t roll your eyes if I get angry, and 

👉don’t call my ambition ‘too much’ or USELESS or my dreams ‘unrealistic.’ I want to be heard, not just seen.

• Believe me when I tell you something is wrong. Don’t ask what I was wearing, why I was out late, or whether I “misread the situation.” Believe me first.
• Share the load at home. Cooking, cleaning, caring for elders_____these are not “women’s work.” If you live with me or with your wife, do your share without being asked.
• Support my choices : my career, my decision to marry or not, my right to travel alone, my right to wear what I want. Defend those choices to our parents, our relatives, and society, even when it’s uncomfortable.
• Educate yourself and other men. Read about consent, patriarchy, and gender equality. Call out other men when they are misogynistic. Be the man who makes other men think twice.

Why This Gift Matters More Than Any Other

• Jewellery will gather dust. 
• A dress will go out of style. 

But if you give me a world with less misogyny, you’re giving me something I carry every single day: " freedom ". 

👉The freedom to walk home without my heart pounding, 

👉 to laugh out loud without being told to ‘behave,’ 

👉 to speak up in a meeting and know I’ll be heard. 

That’s the gift I REQUEST

👉 the gift that lets me live without fear or shame.

You cannot protect me from every threat. But you can help create a world where fewer threats exist. That is the protection I actually need.

This Rakhi, I am not just asking you for protection. I am asking you to walk beside me. To see me not as someone to be shielded, but as an EQUAL whose dreams and dignity deserve to flourish. To fight for a world where my worth is never measured by my gender, but by the light I carry within.

That is the only gift I truly want.

With love and hope,

Your Sister

Dr Archana Vedantam