Reaction Formation

 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡?

Well this phenomenon is called "reaction formation," and it's a defence mechanism that individuals use to cope with unacceptable or anxiety-provoking impulses.

Let me give you an example. Meet Alice, a high-achieving professional who experiences intense feelings of anger and competitiveness towards her co-worker, Bob. Alice is envious of Bob's success and recognition in the workplace, which triggers discomfort and insecurity within her. However, instead of directly expressing her jealousy or hostility, Alice engages in a pattern of exaggerated kindness, praise, and support towards Bob.

This behaviour may seem counterintuitive, but it is a classic example of reaction formation. Alice is unconsciously adopting behaviours and attitudes that directly contrast with her unacceptable impulses. By showing excessive kindness, admiration, and support towards Bob, Alice attempts to manage and control her underlying anxiety or conflict.

Reaction formation aims to cope with conflicting emotions, reduce anxiety, and protect one's self-esteem and relationships. Through exaggerated displays of gentleness and support, Alice manages her anxieties and vulnerabilities while protecting her relationships and reputation in the workplace.

So, next time you find someone being overly nice to someone they hate in truth, remember that it might be a sign of reaction formation. It's a common defence mechanism used to 𝐧𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐬.